Carlton Mellick Pořadí knih (chronologicky)

There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws. When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive. Cannibals of Candyland is an erotic horror story for the bizarro reader. Dark, disturbing, and absurd; this isn't the board game version of candy land you used to play as a kid.

Carlton Mellick III, a prominent figure in bizarro fiction, delivers a splatterpunk satire that immerses readers in the chaotic worlds of Apeshit and Clusterfuck. Celebrated for his originality and creativity, Mellick's work pushes the boundaries of genre fiction, blending elements of horror and dark humor. With over two decades of writing experience, his latest novel promises to be a compelling and bizarre exploration of unconventional themes and narratives.

Carlton Mellick III delivers an absurd horror satire that explores the intricate relationship between love and fear. Celebrated as a leading voice in bizarro fiction, Mellick's unique storytelling has garnered acclaim from notable figures in the genre. With over two decades of experience, he continues to push boundaries, offering readers a compelling and unconventional narrative that challenges traditional themes in fiction.

Carlton Mellick III presents an absurd dystopian narrative that critiques modern parenting, showcasing his signature bizarre style. Celebrated as a leading voice in the bizarro fiction genre, Mellick's work has garnered recognition from notable figures in science fiction and horror. With over two decades of experience, he continues to push boundaries and explore unconventional themes in his storytelling.

Jste nezadaný mladý muž, který žije bohémským, až zhýralým životem. Uprostřed noci vám u dveří zazvoní dva policisté se zatykačem. Nechápete proč. Nevzpomínáte si, že byste se dopustili něčeho nekalého. Před vazbou vás může zachránit jediné – nechat se odvézt do vesnice v lese, kde už je všechno připraveno k svatbě, k vaší svatbě, a pojmout za manželku ženu, kterou vůbec nepoznáváte. Ona se těší, těší se i její početné prapodivné příbuzenstvo. Usmívají se, ale záhy začnou cenit zuby které umějí pořádně kousat. Carlton Mellick III, inspirován Procesem Franze Kafky, nabízí další ze svých groteskních dobrodružství, tentokrát s lehkým odkazem k románu Zbouchnul jsem Satanovu dceru (tajemná žena se znenadání přihlásí jako partnerka nic netušícího mladíka, který dosud vedl spokojený staromládenecký život) a povídce „Strašidelná vagina“ (bizarní výprava do končin, kam se člověk běžně nepodívá). Orgie v chomoutu nejsou romantická komedie, jde spíš o vztahovou dystopickou noční můru rozebírající věci, z nichž leckterému muži bude tuhnout krev žilách. Tohle byste opravdu nechtěli

Carlton Mellick III, a prominent figure in bizarro fiction, presents a dark children's fantasy reminiscent of classics like Labyrinth and Where the Wild Things Are. With nearly two decades of experience and recognition as a leading science-fiction writer, Mellick's latest work promises to blend whimsical elements with eerie themes, showcasing his unique storytelling style.

Carlton Mellick III delivers a haunting narrative that explores themes of obsession, desperation, loneliness, and depravity. Renowned for his unique contributions to the bizarro fiction genre, Mellick's work is celebrated by critics and peers alike, including recognition from The Guardian and extreme horror icon Edward Lee. This latest novel promises to captivate readers with its compelling and unconventional storytelling.

Bizarní romantická gangsterka ze subžánru bizarro fiction, v níž vílí mladík Eliot s polochobotnicí Oonou prchají před elfí jakuzou a nebezpečnými gangstery. V nejzkorumpovanějším městě Ameriky vedle sebe žijí víly, elfové, lamie, tvorové z mořských hlubin a řada prapodivných kříženců. Na ulicích bují zločin, v kanálech hnijí odpadky a mátožně plavou mořské panny. Mafie obchodují s vílím masem, provozují nevěstince a nevybíravými způsoby svádějí boj o vliv a zákazníky. V tomto prostředí se snaží přežívat Eliot, ten nejkrásnější vílák pod sluncem, drobný mladík s oslnivými křídly, po němž touží všichni, kdo se ocitnou v jeho blízkosti. Eliot má však slabost pro polochobotnici Oonu, která v zázemí striptýzového klubu provozuje tetovací salon. V něm se s rozkoší a vzrušením oddává dotykům jejích osmi mohutných ramen, byť Oona k němu coby muži zůstává chladná. Jedno Eliotovo tetovací sezení však skončí pohromou, oba se dostanou do spárů elfí jakuzy a musejí čelit gangsterům... Nakladatelská anotace. Kráceno.

Carlton Mellick III, a notable figure in bizarro fiction, presents a unique short horror comedy that explores the concept of communal snuggling in an unconventional way. Celebrated for his originality and recognized as a leading science-fiction writer, Mellick's latest work promises to blend humor with horror, pushing the boundaries of traditional storytelling.

Little Benny isn't very good at taking tests. It's not that he's a stupid kid or doesn't pay attention in class. It's just that he's absolutely terrified of failure. It doesn't matter how hard he studies. He gets so nervous that he freezes up and his mind goes blank, rarely even answering a single question before the time is up. This is especially difficult now that he's in Mrs. Gustafson's fifth grade class, where the punishment for failure is to draw a curse from the bad box - a magical device that permanently mutates children into horrific monsters.

Nedávno skončila válka, kterou hračky rozpoutaly proti lidstvu. A hračky v ní zvítězily… Plyšáci, panenky, roboti, ale i malí plastoví vojáčci už měli plné zuby toho, že s nimi rozmazlené děti zacházely jako s pouhými věcmi. A i když nové „chytré“ generace hraček dokázaly myslet a cítit, neměly žádná práva, žádnou naději na smysluplný život. Nezbývalo jim než se vzbouřit a s lidskou rasou zatočit… Po konfliktu se poslední lidé stáhli do podzemních bunkrů. V jedné z těchto tajných enkláv přežívá i Julie, podstupující bolestivé operace a přerod v plyšovou pandu. Hračkám nemůže zapomenout, jak naložily s jejími rodiči. Pokud ví, dosud jsou zadržováni v jednom z vyhlazovacích táborů. Podaří se jí díky své transformaci dosáhnout vytčeného cíle a zachrání je? Vyzraje na všehoschopné hračky a jejich kruté plyšové velitele?

Lidožrouti z Lízátkova jsou sladce surové bizarro o zvláštních krvelačných bytostech z podzemí, které přes den, kdy jsou dospělí v práci, rafinovaně útočí na nic netušící děti. Těmto stvůrám, svůdným a opojně vonícím tak, aby jim nikdo neodolal, se postaví typický mellickovský hrdina Franklin Pierce, opět tak trochu lúzr, který žije se dvěma manželkami, miluje koťata, death metal, historii, pivo a má chirurgicky vylepšený mozek. Franklin se chce pomstít za smrt svých sourozenců, kteří v útlém dětství podlehli vábení cukrových lidožroutů, ale dokáže si se všehoschopným nepřítelem poradit? Je schopný v přímé konfrontaci odolat zrůdě, jež na něj vytáhne zbraně toho nejsladšího kalibru?

Přišla si pro jeho duši, ale odešla s jeho srdcem. Román Carltona Mellicka III, autora s ohromující fantazií a nezaměnitelným stylem, je romantickou komedií, jaká tu ještě nebyla. Obyčejný mladík Jonathan vede bezstarostnou existenci v domě z lega. Přes den z kostiček staví nové modely, po večerech chodí do baru popíjet s kamarádem Šódžim, zápasníkem sumó, nad nímž pravidelně vítězí démon alkoholu. Život se Jonathanovi zvrtne ve chvíli, kdy se u něj doma objeví démonka Veška s úsměvem na rtech a překvapením pod srdcem. Jonathan se s ohromením dozvídá, že Veška s ním před devíti měsíci otěhotněla… ačkoliv on sám dosud žil v domnění, že se žádnou ženou nikdy nic neměl. Také si vždycky myslel, že stát se otcem a manželem bude peklo na zemi, ale opravdu neměl tušení, že takhle doslova…

Set on a surreal battlefield in the liminal space between Heaven and Hell, this Bio-Mech action horror story showcases Carlton Mellick III's unique style within the bizarro fiction genre. With nearly two decades of experience, Mellick has garnered acclaim as one of the most original voices in contemporary literature, praised by notable figures in the science fiction and horror communities. This novel promises to deliver a compelling blend of bizarre elements and gripping action.

Steve bláznivě miluje svou excentrickou přítelkyni Stacy. Jejich sexuální život však poslední dobou nestojí za nic, protože Steva trápí podivuhodné kvílivé zvuky, které se linou ze Stacyiných intimních partií. Stacy si je vědoma, že jí straší ve vagině, ale nedělá z toho žádnou vědu. Když se z ní pak jednou večer vysouká kostlivec, Stacy pochopí, že v sobě ukrývá obrovskou záhadu, a svého přítele přesvědčí, aby se do ní vplížil a zjistil, co je ono zvláštní místo zač...   Strašidelná vagina, jedno z vrcholných děl žánru bizarro fiction, nabízí příběh přesně o tom, co slibuje v názvu, v čtenářsky přívětivé kombinaci groteskna, hororu a erotiky. Titulní novelu doplňují neméně výstřední povídky Porno v srpnu a Fantastické orgie.

Karl Lybeck has been trapped in a never-ending loop, reliving the same day for what feels like a millennium. He has forgotten his life before this cycle, including the faces of his parents and his profession. The only remnant of his identity is his name on an Oregon State driver's license. Just when he believes he is alone in this eternal nightmare, a woman named January appears in his backyard, fleeing from armed pursuers claiming to be police. Unbeknownst to her, she too is ensnared in the same time loop. As they connect, Karl learns that he and January are not alone; most of society is caught in this repetitive cycle. While he isolated himself in his suburban home, the world outside has adapted to this bizarre existence, implementing new laws and a memory-based currency. Together, Karl and January join a therapy group with others struggling to cope, including hospital patients with incurable illnesses and parents unable to watch their children grow. However, the governing authorities seem oblivious to the significance of the "neverday," a time that exists only for those who stay awake all night to escape repetition. With newfound allies, Karl and January venture into the neverday, seeking answers that could unravel the very foundation of their society.

Irving Rice arrives on Kynaria to film an episode of a popular Travel Channel series, facing severe culture shock. Having never left his home planet, he is unprepared for the mushroom cities, fungus-like citizens, and giant insect wildlife. His only companion is Mick Meyers, an obnoxious producer obsessed with alien sex tourism rather than scouting locations. As Irving navigates Kynarian culture, he samples bizarre local delicacies and endures horrific brews, culminating in a visit to an alien brothel in the mushroom forests. Initially resistant to the idea of engaging with a non-human prostitute, he encounters a stunning nymph-like woman with pink and purple skin and blue plant-like hair. After a night of passionate lovemaking, Irving's experience takes a dark turn when he contracts dangerous sexually transmitted parasites, transforming his intergalactic business trip into a desperate struggle for survival. This erotic and disturbing tale explores the bizarre side of the galaxy, showcasing the unique and unsettling experiences of its characters.

Carlton Mellick III, the godfather of bizarro fiction, pays homage to the unsettling children's commercials of the '70s and '80s. Petey is the only one who remembers the disturbing Fruit Fun cereal ads from the 1980s, featuring lumpy cartoon children and the eerie mascot, Berry Bunny. These commercials haunted his childhood, filling him with nightmares of being pulled into a cereal bowl by the grotesque characters. When Petey mentions Fruit Fun to his friends, they are baffled, having never seen the commercials or even heard of the cereal. Even online searches yield no results, leaving Petey questioning his sanity and the reality of his memories. However, the bizarre nostalgia resurfaces as Berry Bunny reappears on his television, promoting the cereal in her unsettling voice. Suddenly, Petey and his friends find themselves trapped in the surreal world of the commercial, surrounded by flesh-and-blood cartoon characters. This absurd horror tale from the cult author of Cuddly Holocaust, Cannibals of Candyland, and I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter pulls readers into a bizarre journey that is both captivating and terrifying.

Exploring the surreal aftermath of a giant monster attack, this tribute novel by Carlton Mellick III delves into the bizarre and chaotic consequences faced by the survivors. As the narrative unfolds, it combines elements of dark humor and absurdity, characteristic of Mellick's unique style, while examining themes of destruction and resilience in a world forever altered by a kaiju. Expect a thought-provoking and unconventional journey that challenges perceptions of reality and human experience.

"The cutest fucking book you'll ever fucking read."--Jeff Burk Known for his cute, disturbing, and utterly absurd novels, cult author Carlton Mellick III returns with a tale of childhood love and spontaneous face explosions. Ethan is in love with the weird girl in school. The one with the twitchy eyes and spiders in her hair. The one who can't sit still for even a minute and speaks in an odd squeaky voice. The one they call Spiderweb. Although she scares all the other kids in school, Ethan thinks Spiderweb is the cutest, sweetest, most perfect girl in the world. But there's a problem. Whenever they go on a date at the Dairy Queen, her whole fucking face explodes. He's not sure why it happens. She just gets so excited that pressure builds under her skin. Then her face bursts, spraying meat and gore across the room, her eyeballs and lips landing in his strawberry sundae. At first, Ethan believes he can deal with his girlfriend's face-exploding condition. But the more he gets to know her, the weirder her condition turns out to be. And as their relationship gets serious, Ethan realizes that the only way to make it work is to become just as strange as she is. From the award-winning author of Sweet Story and The Haunted Vagina, comes a twisted love story that is as creepy as it is heart-warming.

Sally is an odd little girl. It's not because she dresses as if she's from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It's because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.

"Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren't able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet. The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these "feeder humans" are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids' new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea."--Page 4 of cover.

In an alternate version of the future where Hitler had conquered the entire world during WW2 and developed society into his vision of utopia, an SS officer is on a mission to find and exterminate the last imperfect human on Earth. Following his trail leads the young Nazi to a small town hidden in the middle of the desert, a place that has been cut off from society for so long that it has developed its own strange and disturbing culture. Thus begins Mellick's dreamlike adventure that takes a young descendent of Adolf Hitler's design and sends him down the rabbit hole into a world of imperfection and disorder, where even the laws of reality itself don't seem to apply. A tribute to both Franz Kafka and Lewis Carroll, Adolf in Wonderland is a perfect read for fans of the bizarro genre.

Šestice středoškoláků se ve vypůjčené dodávce vydává strávit víkend na chatě uprostřed odlehlého lesa. Nikomu nedochází, že to nemusí být dobrý nápad. Nic je netrkne, když tankují na benzince, kde jsou terčem pohledů nevraživých vidláků, ani když na silnici nacházejí absurdní množství přejeté zvěře. Tři marnivé roztleskávačky Desdemona, Crystal, Stephanie a tři nadržení fotbalisté Jason, Rick a Kevin se prostě těší na chatu, umanutě si chtějí užívat. Chatu však obestírá tajemství a navíc si do ní své prazvláštní tajemství veze i každý člen osádky… Příběh, který zpočátku může vypadat jako klasický popcornový horůrek, se záhy mění v něco mnohem podivnějšího. Mistr bizarností Carlton Mellick III bere klasické schéma teenagerské vyvražďovačky a s potutelným úsměvem ho prohání mixérem.

Klíštěk a Polly jsou děti, které se nikdy nesetkaly se svými rodiči, ačkoliv s nimi žijí v jednom domě. Vedou pohodlný život v izolaci, v péči staré chůvy a několika robotických zařízení, ale čím jsou starší, tím víc otázek si kladou. Kromě záhady nepochopitelného nezájmu ze strany rodičů chtějí odhalit tajemství svého příbytku, hermeticky uzavřeného komplexu několika pokojů ztracených kdesi v rozlehlé rezidenci, do níž jim brání vstoupit příšery šramotící za hlavními dveřmi a chůvina důrazná varování před smrtelným nebezpečím. Otazníků přibývá, navíc začne selhávat dosud hladce fungující technika a dětem nezbude než udělat krok, který dosavadní idylu změní v hororové dobrodružství plné napětí a zvratů. Při čtení Carltona Mellicka III si můžete být jisti, že neuhádnete, co vás čeká na další stránce…

In a dystopian world where a deadly disease forces people to live in plastic bubbles, intimacy has become a dangerous act. Relationships are strained as physical affection, such as kissing or hugging, is forbidden to avoid lethal exposure. The narrative explores the profound isolation and emotional disconnection that arises from this enforced separation, depicting a society where individuals navigate their lives in man-sized hamster balls, longing for the closeness that now seems unattainable.

It's Naked Lunch meets Dawn of the Dead in this postmodern post-apocalyptic zombie nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. Hundreds of years have passed since the living dead conquered the Earth. Surviving humans have been reduced to vermin, breeding like cockroaches in ancient fortified high-rise apartment buildings. Those who are still lingering in the shadowy waste have either gone completely insane or become infested with parasites that mutate flesh into steel-string sculptures. There is nothing left to live for, no hope for any kind of future. Only the long wait for death remains. But one man refuses to die just yet. He must first find a wife, somebody who will love him, so that he doesn't have to die alone. And he won't give up until he finds this person, even if he has to build a woman himself using the scrap body parts that litter the hallways. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Steel Breakfast Era is perhaps the most surreal zombie apocalypse story ever told.

Carlton Mellick III präsentiert eine Sammlung skurriler Kurzgeschichten, die die Grenzen der Bizarro Fiction ausloten. Mit abgedrehten Titeln und surrealen Erzählungen kombiniert er Einflüsse von Kafka bis Lynch. Die Geschichten sind bizarr, humorvoll und herausfordernd, ideal für Fans des Unkonventionellen.

Neo Tokyo, California is a city built so high that none of its residents have ever seen the ground. It is a place where citizens cosmetically alter their bodies to look like Japanese anime characters. It is a place where ninja battles determine the fate of corporate business ventures. It is the home of Basu-- a 700 pound killing machine who uses his grotesque excess weight as a deadly weapon.

A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars. Her name is Psycho June Howard, aka Armadillo Fists, a woman who replaced both of her hands with living armadillos. She was once the most bloodthirsty fighter in the world of illegal underground boxing. But now she is on the run from a group of psychotic gangsters who believe she's responsible for the death of their boss. With the help of a stegosaurus driver named Mr. Fast Awesome-who thinks he is God's gift to women even though he doesn't have any arms or legs-June must do whatever it takes to escape her pursuers, even if she has to kill each and every one of them in the process. Strange, engaging characters, breakneck pacing, and jam-packed with more brilliantly weird concepts than you'll know what to do with-this is bizarro cult author Carlton Mellick III at his best.

Set in a seemingly idyllic suburban neighborhood, the story explores the darker side of suburban life as residents confront bizarre and supernatural occurrences. The characters, each grappling with their own personal struggles, must band together to uncover the truth behind the strange happenings. Themes of friendship, resilience, and the quest for normalcy amidst chaos are woven throughout, creating a gripping narrative that blends horror with humor, revealing the complexities of suburban existence.

There's a new genre rising from the underground. Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until now. The Bizarro Starter Kit features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre: D. Harlan Wilson, Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Kevin L Donihe, Gina Ranalli, Andre Duza, VIncent W. Sakowski, Steve Beard, John Edward Lawson, and Bruce Taylor.

Absurd philosophies, dark surrealism & the end of the human race... God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven & wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossesing your souls & feeding them to a large vagina-like machine called the Walm-an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed & deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos & there's nothing you can do about it. Featuring: a narrator who sees his body from a 3rd-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive & running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, lots of classy sex & violence, & a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn t want them anymore.