Online dating as a strategic game

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This book, based on a study using online ethnography, explores how men in Hong Kong utilize QQ, an online instant messenger, to pursue women in mainland China, particularly in Shenzhen. The pursuit is framed as a reciprocal exchange process where resources are provided by men without prior negotiation, aiming for uncertain rewards in return. This dynamic compels men to be strategic, maximizing potential rewards while minimizing costs through various tactics, such as crafting appealing online identities via strategic self-presentation. The book also delves into the emotional aspects of these exchanges. Men learn emotional norms from online forums, yet they often struggle to manage their feelings; some unexpectedly fall in love, miscalculating the balance of costs and rewards by giving too much without sufficient return. The insights offered shed light on the motivations, desires, anxieties, and risks faced by Hong Kong men seeking short-term sexual relationships with mainland women. These findings are crucial for understanding the rapidly changing landscape of social media and its global implications.